Everyone wants to be successful in their life. Success is different for everyone, so only you can define it for yourself. It doesn’t matter much what you choose to do in your life. If you want to be good at it, you must spend time learning something about it and how to do it the best.
Do you have the willingness to work hard to reach your goals? Maybe you talk about doing it. Maybe you talk about planning on how to do it. Maybe you don’t even do that. What stops you from doing more? Do you keep running into a wall?
Knowing how to do something well only happens when you struggle to find your way. It doesn’t come from reading someone’s blog. It doesn’t come from listening to a talk. Those things can give guidance, but you need to do the work. The Chinese have a saying: “To learn how to do something, do it 10,000 times.”
Look at your circle of friends. Are they doing interesting things and working hard? Are they partying all night and sleeping all day? Which kind of friend do you think will help you reach your goals?
Surround yourself with your sangha, your virtuous community, of successful, positive people. Ask several of them to help you plan. Talk about your options for the future. Ask for crazy ideas to help you come up with unconventional ways to get things done.
Nasrudin is a character in many tales and parables. He lived in the Middle East many hundreds of years ago. Here is a story about Nasrudin from http://www.unfetteredmind.com/articles/willingness.php
One day, while staying at a friend's house, Nasrudin peered over the wall into the neighbor's yard and saw the most wonderful garden he had ever seen. He noticed an old man patiently weeding a flower-bed and asked, “This is a beautiful garden. I'd like to have one just like it. How do you make a garden like this?”
“Twenty years hard work.”
“Never mind,” said Nasrudin.
Do you want to create a great garden of your life? The time to start is now. Enjoy the journey because it’s a long trip.
© 2010 Eric Borreson
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Thinking about Priorities
The following is from YMAA News, Issue 54, June 15, 2000 (available at www.ymaa.com):
One day an expert in time management was speaking to a group of business students and, to drive home a point, used an illustration those students will never forget.
As he stood in front of this group of high-powered overachievers he said, “Okay, time for a quiz.” He pulled out a large wide-mouthed jar and set it on the table in front of him. Then he produced about a dozen fist sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time, into the jar. When the jar was filled to the top and no more would fit inside, he asked, “Is the jar full?”
Everyone in the class agreed, “Yes!”
“Really?” he teased. He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. Then he dumped some gravel in and shook the jar, causing the gravel to work itself down into the space between the rocks.
Then he asked the group once more, “Is the jar full?”
“Probably not,” one brave student ventured.
“Good!” he replied. He reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand in the jar and it filled the spaces left between the rocks and the gravel.
Once more he asked, “Is the jar full?”
Now the whole class was on to him. No!” they shouted.
Once again he said, “Good!” Then he grabbed a pitcher and began to pour water in until the jar was filled to the brim. Then he looked at the class and asked, “What is the point of this illustration?”
One eager student raised his hand and said, “The point is: no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard you can always fit some more things in!”
“No!” the speaker replied, “that’s not the point. The truth this illustration teaches us is: If you don’t put the big rocks in first, you will never get them in at all.”
Friends, what are the “big rocks” in your life? Your priorities, the most important things in your life, which only you can decide? You must put these “big rocks” in first or you’ll never get them in at all. If you sweat the little stuff, then you’ll fill your life with worry over little things that don’t really matter; and you’ll never have the real quality time you need to spend on the big, important stuff.
© 2010 Eric Borreson
One day an expert in time management was speaking to a group of business students and, to drive home a point, used an illustration those students will never forget.
As he stood in front of this group of high-powered overachievers he said, “Okay, time for a quiz.” He pulled out a large wide-mouthed jar and set it on the table in front of him. Then he produced about a dozen fist sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time, into the jar. When the jar was filled to the top and no more would fit inside, he asked, “Is the jar full?”
Everyone in the class agreed, “Yes!”
“Really?” he teased. He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. Then he dumped some gravel in and shook the jar, causing the gravel to work itself down into the space between the rocks.
Then he asked the group once more, “Is the jar full?”
“Probably not,” one brave student ventured.
“Good!” he replied. He reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand in the jar and it filled the spaces left between the rocks and the gravel.
Once more he asked, “Is the jar full?”
Now the whole class was on to him. No!” they shouted.
Once again he said, “Good!” Then he grabbed a pitcher and began to pour water in until the jar was filled to the brim. Then he looked at the class and asked, “What is the point of this illustration?”
One eager student raised his hand and said, “The point is: no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard you can always fit some more things in!”
“No!” the speaker replied, “that’s not the point. The truth this illustration teaches us is: If you don’t put the big rocks in first, you will never get them in at all.”
Friends, what are the “big rocks” in your life? Your priorities, the most important things in your life, which only you can decide? You must put these “big rocks” in first or you’ll never get them in at all. If you sweat the little stuff, then you’ll fill your life with worry over little things that don’t really matter; and you’ll never have the real quality time you need to spend on the big, important stuff.
© 2010 Eric Borreson
The Frog and the Scorpion
There are many variations on this story. Here is one I like.
Once upon a time, there was a scorpion that wanted to cross a river. Since scorpions do not swim, he needed help. There was a frog nearby so the scorpion asked the frog to carry him across the river on its back. The frog refused and said, “If I carry you on my back, you will sting me and I will die. That is what scorpions do.”
The scorpion replied, “If I were to sting you, I would drown in the river. That would be suicide.”
The frog considered this. Being a trusting soul, the frog accepted and carried the scorpion on its back out into the river. Halfway across the river, the scorpion stung the frog. As the frog was dying, it asked the scorpion, “Why did you do this? Now we both will die.”
As the scorpion was sinking into the water along with the dying frog, it replied, “That is what scorpions do. It is my nature.”
Of course, the story isn’t really about frogs and scorpions. It is about human nature.
Do you know someone that drives you crazy? My boss is that one for me. He refuses to allow anyone to make any meaningful decisions without his prior approval. He micromanages the tiniest details of every project, but I can’t get him to take care of the important things that I need him to do.
There is a good description of a micromanager at
http://www.careerknowhow.com/guidance/micromanager.htm
When someone believes he is the only one competent to make decisions, he creates suffering (stress) for others. His leadership is not trustworthy. His mind is telling him that what he does is coming from his greater knowledge. It is actually a delusion of the ego. However, my boss is not going to change. He is acting out of his true nature. He believes that his actions are correct. His lack of leadership and management skill is affecting everyone around him. It’s not because he is acting wrongly. He simply does not trust anyone else to do a job as well as he thinks he can do that job.
I have worked for many years to reduce the stress in my life. He has been working just as hard at putting the stress back into my life. Being angry with him for acting according to his nature gets me nowhere. I cannot easily walk away from this job. I need the income.
We have beliefs about who we are. We act in accordance to our beliefs, even if it hurts us. As humans, we have the ability to choose how we act. Bruce Lee once said, “As you think, so shall you become.” It’s up to me to think that I can find positive ways to use this situation. I need to find a way to choose actions that allow me to take care of my family.
As Shantideva says in Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life,
There is no evil like hatred,
And no fortitude like patience.
Thus I should strive in various ways
To meditate on patience.
© 2010 Eric Borreson
Once upon a time, there was a scorpion that wanted to cross a river. Since scorpions do not swim, he needed help. There was a frog nearby so the scorpion asked the frog to carry him across the river on its back. The frog refused and said, “If I carry you on my back, you will sting me and I will die. That is what scorpions do.”
The scorpion replied, “If I were to sting you, I would drown in the river. That would be suicide.”
The frog considered this. Being a trusting soul, the frog accepted and carried the scorpion on its back out into the river. Halfway across the river, the scorpion stung the frog. As the frog was dying, it asked the scorpion, “Why did you do this? Now we both will die.”
As the scorpion was sinking into the water along with the dying frog, it replied, “That is what scorpions do. It is my nature.”
Of course, the story isn’t really about frogs and scorpions. It is about human nature.
Do you know someone that drives you crazy? My boss is that one for me. He refuses to allow anyone to make any meaningful decisions without his prior approval. He micromanages the tiniest details of every project, but I can’t get him to take care of the important things that I need him to do.
There is a good description of a micromanager at
http://www.careerknowhow.com/guidance/micromanager.htm
When someone believes he is the only one competent to make decisions, he creates suffering (stress) for others. His leadership is not trustworthy. His mind is telling him that what he does is coming from his greater knowledge. It is actually a delusion of the ego. However, my boss is not going to change. He is acting out of his true nature. He believes that his actions are correct. His lack of leadership and management skill is affecting everyone around him. It’s not because he is acting wrongly. He simply does not trust anyone else to do a job as well as he thinks he can do that job.
I have worked for many years to reduce the stress in my life. He has been working just as hard at putting the stress back into my life. Being angry with him for acting according to his nature gets me nowhere. I cannot easily walk away from this job. I need the income.
We have beliefs about who we are. We act in accordance to our beliefs, even if it hurts us. As humans, we have the ability to choose how we act. Bruce Lee once said, “As you think, so shall you become.” It’s up to me to think that I can find positive ways to use this situation. I need to find a way to choose actions that allow me to take care of my family.
As Shantideva says in Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life,
There is no evil like hatred,
And no fortitude like patience.
Thus I should strive in various ways
To meditate on patience.
© 2010 Eric Borreson
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